Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
God, I missed his penis.
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