Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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