You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
