Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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