Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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