Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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