Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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