im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
