Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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