Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize