I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
