life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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