So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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