No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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