The brown eye won't let me do that either.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?