don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
