Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
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I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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