You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
