Pants 0. Shit 1.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
