Got a toothbrush?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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