I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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