so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
