did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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