I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
