I don't think brook has ever known best
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
