If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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