he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
