I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
