i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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