I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
