you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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