you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
