I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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