i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
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You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
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I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight