Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can I color on your dick again?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.