This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I puked a lego.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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