I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
