one two three fourrrrnication!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
