Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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