I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
