I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Randomize
