On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just had sex bonerless
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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