Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I will pee on everything he values.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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