remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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