I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
