You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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