How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
