I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
