come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
