Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
