Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
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From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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