the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
3pm strippers are depressing
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My life is pants optional.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
