I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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