I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
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