I wish I could teleport
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
