he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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