how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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