worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
