I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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